James Henley

The kingdom ain’t for quitters?

Wow… strange day. Had a really lazy morning – didn't actually get out of bed until about 1, although I did still get some work down whilst I was in bed. Then this afternoon was in St Paul's setting up everything for tomorrow's Harvest Inspire service – the first of Justin's new informal non-eucharistic (shock horror!) services. Then got a call from Micah inviting me to Newport City Church for their "Saturday Night Church", and on the way randomly some Lab guys on the way to the Welsh Open BBoy Championships who had a spare ticket and so headed up to meet them there afterwards. Phew…

Anyway, so at NCC, Rob the Pastor preached around these verses in Luke, which got me thinking a lot – mainly because I couldn't help but disagree with what he was saying. Anyway, here's the main verse:

"Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." – Luke 9:62 (NIV)

Rob said that this meant that in order to "be fit for the kingdom" we needed to three things (held together by the acronym QET):

• Qualification – the only way into the kingdom is Jesus (Amen to that by the way),
• Equipped – so if we are qualified but we don't use the equipment God has given us (mainly the bible) everyday then we aren't fit for the kingdom (here's where I begin to disagree), and
• Trained – so we need to keep training ourselves by praying and reading the bible to be fit.

Something about that whole thing just didn't seem to ring true to the passage – to me one of the main points of the gospel is that Jesus came for the broken, the sinners, those who, by His own definition wouldn't seem to be fit for the kingdom. I didn't think God was interested in checking our eternal CVs before putting us on the service team?

Anyway, I really need to stop there I think – I really need to explore that passage and some of the others Rob used; it would be far more useful to present a re-construction rather than continue the de-construction of his thoughts. Oh, and I think that there was a really good point in what he said – and that's that the gospel is not only about salvation (what?), Jesus talks a lot about what we do once we've got the "qualification" sorted.

We aren't supposed to just sit around and wait for the second coming. There's work to be done!

So, the breakdancing comp (that's what this whole BBoy thing is about apparently lol) was pretty incredible. Felt a bit out of place being not really an urban guy but the crazy dance moves those guys were pulling off were insane – and I saw some of the guys and some other guys who were there already and Jon, who I met on the first uni weekend, who was busy getting paid to do cool camera stuff.

Had a long quiet walk home then afterwards, which is probably why this blog (seem to be posting loads recently, not sure it's sustainable though). Had lots of time to think stuff through. Was also remembering last year and the International Careforce Volunteers – hope they're all doing okay. Remembered how inspiring their passion and jus their total reliance on God was – one of the psalms they wouldn't stop raving about was Psalm 121. I so often just let these words go over my head, but if you let them really sink into your mind then they're incredible:

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
   where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
   nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
   he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
   both now and forevermore.

PS. Just had a read through this and realised it could come across quite harsh. So I just really want to say that I think that Newport City Church are great, and that they are really passionate about doing good stuff for Newport in the name of Jesus - and that Rob is a fantastic guy who is totally on fire for Jesus. Just because I didn't agree with some of what he said doesn't mean that I don't totally support what he, and they, do. And I will continue to converse with them and to support their church by going to their events as much as I can. :-)

1408

Just been out to the pictures to see 1408 – possibly one of the scarier films I've seen recently.

It's about this evil hotel room that morphs and changes and generally makes life incredibly nasty for the guy staying in it. There's an interesting clip halfway through when the main character goes for one of those hotel room bibles, but all the pages inside are blank. Discuss.

Although it was something else about the film that really resonated with me. About halfway through the room becomes freezing cold – covered in frost and ice and stuff – and the main character (with his Dictaphone as an door into his mind) starts to liken the situation to the 9^th level of hell or something – and it made me kind-of think about my understanding of hell.

There's so much imagery to do with hell that is thrown at us, but as I watched the film I was thinking maybe we try to box up our understanding of hell and try to explain it away in terms we can understand. And then I know the same is true of our understanding of God and life and the bible – we try to box it up so that we are more comfortable with it.

They say that you fear things that you don't understand – why is that? What is we embraced those feelings of experiences beyond comprehension, beyond understanding? What is we trusted our beliefs,  and trusted God one hundred percent? Would those moments that make us so uncomfortable become moments of breathlessness – moments when we enjoy what it is to be fully human in the arms of someone so much bigger and more aware than ourselves?

Why is it that it is one of man's great missions, great dreams to explore the unknown? Is it because we can't stand that uncomfortable feeling of not understanding? Or do we enjoy the unknown so much that we devote our lives to exploring it – to experiencing those feelings?

Is that why the whole horror/supernatural/thriller genres exist? To provide us that short moment of experiencing something we can't explain?

Would accepting that we can't understand everything be accepting defeat? Or would it be the beginning of some new adventure of faith?

Yet more questions… I'm so sorry… I guess it's just been one of those days when you over-think everything.

Is living enough?

Had a great time last night out in Newport. The first night of Stuffed went really well – thought it might be doomed when we suddenly found out another church was planning a student event on the same night, but luckily we started an hr and a half before them so we managed to share the student audience rather than split it. It also meant I got to sneak into the Pulse event at King's Church afterwards – which seemed to go pretty well. They're renovating a big building just down the road from their church building so it looks like a bit of a building site right now, but they've got the basement kitted out with pool and foosball and table tennis and sofas and stuff – coupled with some atmospheric lighting it looks pretty cool. They also showed us some "adverts" for their upcoming student events – which look very professional just like the rest of the church's publicity.

Went to the campus with Del on Tuesday to do out weekly chaplaincy slot thing – which we need to decide what exactly we're going to do with. As it was we spent a lot of time hanging around in the refectory – and got to chat to G and Louisa who were lunching. But all around doing the chaplaincy thang we were conversing about incarnational living.

We were asking the question "is just living with Jesus inside us enough? Or as the chaplaincy do we need to more than just hang around and be there?"

Obviously with the Lab and missional church in general, the idea of being a living witness and just serving is a big theme, and I think it's fantastic, but is there a danger that "Jesus living within me" sometimes becomes an excuse for us not to seize the opportunities that God gives us to tell others about Jesus?

Using the analogy of us being lights that reflect God's image – is it enough that we just exist shining away or do we have to make an active choice to let the light shine from within us?

It's good to be in the crowd – God calls us to embrace the society around us, to be part of humanity co-existing, but does he call us just to be one in a million others – or is he looking for us a make some noise and let people know that we're there?

I feel like I've asked a lot of questions without really trying too hard to answer them – but maybe that's a good thing, is asking the right questions more important than giving the right answers? (Feel free to explore the subtle humour in that last sentence)

Got half an hour to try and get started on another fieldwork journal or at least plan it out before I head off for Ignite…

We hang our lives upon Your mercy

Oh, just wanted to quickly link to the "liturgy" I used last Thursday lunchtime for the CYM guys in Bristol. It was a really good time of just existing together in God's presence, made even more special I thought by the feeling of community as everyone contributed and prayed and brought something… I'm sure a wise man once said something about that in some book or letter or something… ;-)

So anyway here it is: http://www.btinternet.com/~smallritual/section8/mercy.html - the words are by a guy called Steve Collins and they're just amazing. I split it into three sections, using the first two verses to start, the next couple in the middle somewhere to start a time of prayer, and then the last couple to finish.

Fort Rockay Roolz

Had an awesome weekend at Fort Rocky near Kidderminster with the youth group at St. Paul's. Fort Rocky's a YFC thang with loads of outward bounds and sports and stuff, as well as some good old fashioned, high energy, "Jesus is the answer" evangelism. We took a group of six between the ages of 11 and 14 (I think) – definitely the best behaved, wonderful young people I've ever been anywhere with – they were amazing. It was great to just get to know them and have some fun, and especially to take my mind off Thursday. I loved every minute of it.

Was talking to Justin earlier about how "modern" the YFC approach was (as opposed to "post-modern") but rather than being kind-of scathing actually I realised that over the weekend I just grew this tremendous amount of respect for what they do and how good they are at it. And then on the Saturday night they showed a really cool verging-on-emerging powerpoint with Coldplay – Fix You in the background which was absolutely amazing.

We chatted a bit about footwashing at the Lab last night as the second half of our intro to the new series – hopefully tomorrow I'll get round to posting up a "reflect"-ion on it on the Lab website. Haven't gotten round to it yet – spent today slogging away to get my first fieldwork journal done, which I'm pretty happy with – I think I gave it my best shot, although I'm sure my tutor will be able to pick a fair few holes in it come Wednesday when we sit down to talk about it.

Got loads of little jobs to do (and some slightly bigger ones) so I've made my first ever list of jobs… I even prioritized and everything… just like they told us to in the time management lecture on the CYM residential…

Had some random theological thought going through my head before, but it's totally gone…

If it comes back to me then maybe those thoughts will make it up here before they run off again.

Through the storm…

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me*
   

I wrote-off my car yesterday.

But I'm okay.

*from "You never let go" by Matt Redman. Copyright ©2005 Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing). Available on the Beautiful News album, Everything Glorious, and The Best of Passion (I think)

Reflect

Reflect is a little something we've just started last week on the Lab website – a chance to recap on the previous Sunday, to reflect on what happened and to allow God in those moments of questioning and meditating to change us a little more. And finally to continue the conversation with answers and by asking more questions of your own.

Feel free to take a look and to join the conversation, whether you're a Lab regular or not. If you're interested then take a peak here.

Newport CU / Chaplaincy / Del.icio.us (I know like 5 yrs after everyone else)

Sat with half an eye on the Heroes marathon in BBC2, and just thought I'd fire off a blog.

It's been a really busy weekend – spent a few hours yesterday with Justin on campus at Newport Uni in Student Services handing out donuts and chatting to some of the new freshers (apparently all part of being on the chaplaincy team…). Then joined the CU later on yesterday and again today to help people unpack as well as just generally trying to make ourselves useful around campus as new students move in.

All-in-all very tiring, but I think very rewarding.

I'm really proud of the CU guys who came up with the whole "helping people unpack" idea – what an awesome way to just serve their peers with no agenda or ulterior motives. :-)

The Lab tonight was amazing – one of those times when God just kind-of shows up and you can feel how close he is. We used a clip from "To end all wars" which was really moving – think I'm really going to have to find that film somewhere – it looks incredible.

Started using del.icio.us properly for my favourites – I know I'm about 2 years behind the rest of the world. You can check out some of the stuff I've been looking down a bit in the sidebar on the right. Also slowly beginning to use Firefox a lot more over Internet Explorer – it integrates with del.icio.us much better. Guess it must be my inner open-source-linux-computer-geek coming out – think he's been repressed a bit recently.

Off to Bristol on Wednesday for my first teaching days – got a bit of reading to do before then as well which I need to get out of the way tomorrow. Guess I really should get off to bed sometime soon…

"Save the cheerleader… save the world" - I'm sure there's something deep and theological in there for the Lab…

CYM Community Week (or been there, done that, got the hoodie)

Returned yesterday from the CYM community (read induction) week at Oxford Brookes, with my brand new patented CYM hoodie – which is beautiful by the way ;-).

The week was amazing – got to meet all the guys starting the course this year across the country and got to know the guys from Bristol I'm going to be studying with really well over the course of the week. Also met the face of Careforce from last year, Ceri, who's starting the course at the Oxford centre. Had our first lectures, which were mostly introductions to different parts of the course, although we had a gruelling three-and-a-half, maybe four hours of "Safeguarding" – which the new buzz word for Child Protection. Still I guess that stuff's useful to know before we start, even if it was a little hard-going.

Just put up some stuff in the new "reflect" section on the Lab site – reflecting on some of what we thought about last Sunday – check it out at thelabnewport.org and click reflect on the right-hand side.

Going to pop in at Newport Uni tomorrow to chat to some of the new students coming in, help them out with bags, and stuff with the CU and Justin (we're representing the chaplaincy I think). And then we're doing "big" worship at the Lab tomorrow night and talking some more about what we're going to be up to this Autumn.

J.

[PS – if you're from Bristol CYM: I feel so guilty about that new alarm clock sat on the side, but it just looks so good… ;-)]

Back in Newport / Missional church thoughts

Phew, so I'm back in Newport for another whirlwind adventure!

Moved into the new house on Monday out in Maesglas, near the big 24 hr Tesco's. Just getting used to having to sort out absolutely everything myself for the first time in my life really…

Yesterday I went to the Induction Day at CYM in Bristol which was fantastic, really exciting – although I'm a little worried about all the essays and written assessments that I'm going to need to be doing. Just beginning to shift into gear with the Lab – there's so much potential over the next three years. I'm just daunted by how much commitment and hard work and sitting down and talking through stuff there's going to need to be. If we're passionate and determined enough then I'm absolutely convince that we could change the world… or at least Newport.

Was chatting with G yesterday about how easy it is for us as a church to become inward focused – the more I read about the early church and in acts and Paul's letters, the more convinced I am that the only healthy position for the church to be in is facing outwards. It's so easy just to use the excuse that we need time to sort ourselves out first, and that we aren't in the "right place" with God and to suddenly find ourselves turned around.

More and more I've been reflecting on this question:  "If we were zapped out right now into another universe and our church just disappeared, how much difference would it actually make to our communities and the world around us – would they even miss us at all?"

If the answer is no then I think that as a church we've failed.

Our mission is to be Jesus in our communities and the world around us and so we need to be at the foundations of society, swarming around at the margins of our communities. So that if did just all disappear, heads would turn: "wow, if it wasn't for that church then actually our lives really would be worse off".

And the method? Not control, not forcing our views onto others, but service.